I began this odd little work in 1985 to amuse a very smart young friend. The project got stalled somewhere around the letter "i," and there it remained until, 32 years later, it got stimulated by two other adventures in verse (which can be seen at: http://dracoandcameron.blogspot.com/ and
1. Avaricious Avio Achins,
###
1. Avaricious Avio Achins,
Boldly Baiting a Box with Beer,
Caught a Clutch of Coy Capuchins,
Dainty Dwarves and Druids Drear.
Clutch: A handful or small
number of things, as a clutch of eggs.
Capuchin: a
friar belonging to a certain branch of the Franciscan order. Their name means “little hood,” and their brown habits with
lighter-brown hoods gave rise to the names of both the coffee drink called “cappuchino,”
and the similarly colored capuchin monkey.
###
2. Elephantine Elbo
Eblins
Found a Firbolg Full
of Fight,
Garbed in Grimy
GalliGaskins
Hung with Heads to
Half His Height.
Firbolg: Ancient Irish Swamp-dweller,
said, like many proto-Celtic tribes, to have enjoyed headhunting.
Galligaskins: Loose-fitting trousers,
breeches or gaiters.
###
3. Irrepressible Igor Ittens
Jauntily Juggling
Jars of Jams,
Kept in his Kitchen a
Kindle of Kittens
To Lark
and Leap Like Little Lambs.
Kindle: a group or litter of kittens.
To Lark: play joyfully.
###
4. Mistress Mousekin and her Minions
Naughtily Nibbled, with Nary a Noise,
On Oranges, Oysters, Oats and Onions,
Puddings, Pasties, Puffs, and Pies.
Pasties: Small turnovers
filled with meat and/or vegetables.
Puffs: light flaky pastry
shells with various fillings.
###
5. Quaintly Quizzical Quimby Quiggle,
Reciting his Really Rotten Rhymes,
Shocked Some Solemn Souls with Several
Tropes Too Tasteless for the Times.
Trope: A figurative or
metaphorical use of an expression.
###
6. Ullia Utilized, Untaught,
Vaporous Veils from Vents Volcanic,
Wondrous Were the Works she Wrought:
Xenomorphic, Xylophonic.
Xenomorphic: taking an
unexpected geological shape.
Xylophonic: somewhat like a
Xylophone.
###
Zings his Zither Zealously,
Yowls and Yammers, Yelps and Yodels
In Zany
Zoomorphology.
Zings: Give me a break; there
are only about seven verbs beginning with “Z,” most of them from comic books.
Zoomorphology: The
artistic representation of animal forms.
###
And there you have, from A to
Z,
Vignettes of eccentricity
Rescued from obscurity
(For no good reason I can
see.)
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